The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry estimates that children of alcoholics are four times more likely than other children to become alcoholics themselves. Harris House shares the story of one St. Louis area man who watched his father die of the disease, and struggled to find sobriety himself.
In 2007, Harris House welcomed Bill, a young man who had attempted treatment for alcoholism twice before. Having witnessed his father’s own struggle with alcohol abuse, Bill extensively researched the subject as a high school student, gathering information on the disease and becoming quite knowledgeable on the subject. Despite his extensive knowledge, when he entered college, he also became an alcoholic, and pointed to the following warning signs:
• He drank more than his friends
• He was always thinking of the next drink
• He was never content, always wanting more
• He experienced blackouts and memory loss
• His grades were affected, going from top three in his high school class to a 0.0 GPA in his first semester
“I knew a lot about alcoholism, and I saw the warning signs but all that knowledge didn’t help me avoid the disease,” said Bill, who lived like this for several years. He went on to have a son, and got a job, but continued to decline. After the death of his father as his alcoholism spiraled out of control, he felt pressure to get help, and didn’t want to model this behavior for his son. Bill sought treatment, but during his first attempt, only lasted three weeks of the four week program. “I thought I had it all figured out, but I realized that I never really quit. I relapsed within one day,” said Bill.
His second attempt was an outpatient program which he would attend in the morning, then leave to spend his afternoons in a bar. He soon developed health complications from his drinking, and was hospitalized, only to be told that his condition was one seen in heavy drinkers twice his age.
Friends and family were distraught. Bill’s older sister began searching for real treatment options, and his best friend gave him a wake-up call. “My friend later told me it was the hardest call he ever had to make,” said Bill. “He knew he was risking our friendship by calling me out, and not believing me when I said I was trying because really, I wasn’t.”
Meanwhile, his sister had found Harris House, and connected with Clinical Director Wes Tobin. Bill agreed to go meet with Wes. “At that point, I had so little faith. I didn’t think anyone could help me. I was hopeless,” said Bill, who drank beer in the car on the way to meet Wes. “Wes connected with me during our first conversation. I told him I didn’t know if I wanted to quit drinking, and he told me that was OK. He said that most of us don’t want to quit, but know we’ll have the same consequence if we don’t. That made sense to me, and I knew he was going to be straight with me. He had me.”
Bill was scheduled for medical detox, a procedure that many don’t offer. The night before, he had a moment of clarity and calm, and though he went out drinking one last time, he drank responsibly for the first time in his life. After talking with Wes, he knew it was going to be OK. And it was. With the support of his family in the family support groups, along with the close-knit atmosphere at Harris House and the aftercare he received, which he calls “critical,” Bill beat his addiction and has been sober since November of 2007. Today, he is a successful third year law student preparing for graduation in May.
While he did become a statistic – a child of an alcoholic who became an alcoholic, Bill takes full responsibility for his disease. “I didn’t want my son and stepson to see me like this, but I struggled to be in a place where I felt acceptance and hope about fighting the disease. Wes and Harris House gave me that,” said Bill.
